Progressively Speaking: Did Madonna’s tribute to Aretha show enough ‘respect’?
Rabbi Laura Janner-Klausner takes a topical issue and applies a Reform Jewish response
Perhaps nobody is as synonymous with the word respect as Aretha Franklin. It is a sad irony that many see her as the victim of a serious lack of it after her recent passing.
Madonna aimed to pay tribute to Franklin at the MTV Video Music Awards, but it’s safe to say many thought she had missed the mark in a speech more about herself.
I don’t envy Madonna’s task. Showing respect to the dead is hard enough, never mind someone of such stature and on such a public stage.
What does our tradition teach us about showing our respect in the right way? Kavod ha-met, respect for the dead, is a value our Jewish tradition takes incredibly seriously. Our customs are meticulous and take every possible step to give dignity to the person who has departed.
Traditionally, a sign of respect is never to leave the body alone at this time, ensuring instead there is someone at their side on this final journey.
The mourners do not eat, drink or carry out commandments while in the presence of the deceased, because it would be unkind to do things the deceased can no longer do.
These are extraordinary lengths to go to, but only emphasise the importance we place on giving of ourselves to show respect for another.
This value comes through even more with the hesped, the eulogy. The word itself comes from the concept of praising the person and their qualities.
What is particularly noteworthy is how the eulogy is considered for the benefit of the deceased, not of the living.
If a person has declared he or she doesn’t want a eulogy, that is to be respected, because it isn’t for us. We pay respect not for our benefit, but for that of the deceased.
These traditions all point in one direction, that paying respect is about us giving of ourselves and is intended to place the person we are remembering at the centre.
This is why Madonna’s effort caused such upset. The Jewish tradition teaches us that these initial moments after bereavement aren’t about us – there will be time for that later in the process.
Instead, we are supposed to give one last time to the one we loved, and give a little respect.
- Laura Janner-Klausner is Reform Judaism’s senior rabbi
Thank you for helping to make Jewish News the leading source of news and opinion for the UK Jewish community. Today we're asking for your invaluable help to continue putting our community first in everything we do.
For as little as £5 a month you can help sustain the vital work we do in celebrating and standing up for Jewish life in Britain.
Jewish News holds our community together and keeps us connected. Like a synagogue, it’s where people turn to feel part of something bigger. It also proudly shows the rest of Britain the vibrancy and rich culture of modern Jewish life.
You can make a quick and easy one-off or monthly contribution of £5, £10, £20 or any other sum you’re comfortable with.
100% of your donation will help us continue celebrating our community, in all its dynamic diversity...
Engaging
Being a community platform means so much more than producing a newspaper and website. One of our proudest roles is media partnering with our invaluable charities to amplify the outstanding work they do to help us all.
Celebrating
There’s no shortage of oys in the world but Jewish News takes every opportunity to celebrate the joys too, through projects like Night of Heroes, 40 Under 40 and other compelling countdowns that make the community kvell with pride.
Pioneering
In the first collaboration between media outlets from different faiths, Jewish News worked with British Muslim TV and Church Times to produce a list of young activists leading the way on interfaith understanding.
Campaigning
Royal Mail issued a stamp honouring Holocaust hero Sir Nicholas Winton after a Jewish News campaign attracted more than 100,000 backers. Jewish Newsalso produces special editions of the paper highlighting pressing issues including mental health and Holocaust remembrance.
Easy access
In an age when news is readily accessible, Jewish News provides high-quality content free online and offline, removing any financial barriers to connecting people.
Voice of our community to wider society
The Jewish News team regularly appears on TV, radio and on the pages of the national press to comment on stories about the Jewish community. Easy access to the paper on the streets of London also means Jewish News provides an invaluable window into the community for the country at large.
We hope you agree all this is worth preserving.
