Chutzpah and wit: Joan Rivers’ top 10 one-liners!
The much-loved queen of comedy Joan Rivers died on Thursday, aged 81.
Here are 10 of her sharpest one-liners:
1. “I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was ‘The man goes on top and the woman underneath’. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.”
2. “I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”
3. “People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”
4. “I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die, they will donate my body to Tupperware.”
5. “I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My make-up team is nominated for best special effects.'”
6. “When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.”
7. “You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.”
8. “At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass.”
9. “Boy George is all England needs – another queen who can’t dress.”
10. “My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, ‘Pick up, I know you’re there’.”
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